Stress Balls

Personal October 24, 2008

I have one of those stress balls. You know the kind: small, round, yellow ball with a smiley face. In my use of it, I've found that it actually induces more stress. No matter how hard I try to distort it, it's still smiling! Sure, you can throw it against walls, sit on it, smash it with a book, but it will still smile, an invincible ball of happiness. I knew there was something wrong when they called it a "stress" ball (we really need a "relief" ball).

I think when you're angry, the last thing you want to face is something happy. It's that sadist sentiment inside of all of us: misery loves company. That's why the makers of this stress-creating ball should create one that turns angry after you squish it a few times. You're less likely to get out the chain saw this way. Knowing someone else is unhappy too can slightly satisfy you.

I keep it on the shelf in my room. It doesn't know the pressures I face! I've got so much to do and it's just sitting there, with that happy-go-luck look; that sanguine smile; and I just want to rip it to pieces.

But I wouldn't because then I'd have to buy another one.

The real trouble with these stress balls is that they retain their shape. You squish and squeeze and it still remains a ball. It makes your whole tantrum worthless. You've accomplished nothing. I think this is why people end up resorting to smashing objects like glass or ceramic. If you were to break a priceless vase, people know you're mad. No one would take you seriously if you grabbed a tissue and hurled it to the floor.

Once you break something, it' broken. Something changed. Somehow it makes us feel better knowing we've made some difference, a dent in the world.

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